NFL Week 2 Picks
How did we do last week? Week 1 picks.
Bills – Jets, Falcons – Bears, Steelers – Browns, Lions – Cardinals, Eagles – Redskins, Colts – Rams, Seahawks – Packers, Panthers – 49ers, Saints – Vikings, Broncos – Chargers
Bengals – Ravens, Titans – Raiders, Jags – Texans, Giants – Cowboys
Houston Texans vs Cincinnati Bengals – 9/14/17 8:25PM EDT
I promise that I’m writing this one at 8:18PM, and I’m not currently watching the NFL Network. This will be a win for Houston, but I don’t think that Andy Dalton will be as astronomically terrible this time.
Texans 24 – Bengals 13
Buffalo Bills vs Carolina Panthers – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
The Panthers should have enough in them to beat the Bills at home.
Panthers 31 – Bills 16
Chicago Bears vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
Tampa Bay will be opening the season after their Week 1 matchup with Miami was postponed due to Hurricane Irma. The Bears have two bad quarterbacks on their roster, and I’m hoping we’ll get to see the younger one.
Buccaneers 21 – Bears 16
Minnesota Vikings vs Pittsburgh Steelers – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
Drew Brees wasn’t a threat on Monday night, but I don’t see the Vikings having an answer for Antonio Brown.
Steelers 31 – Vikings 17
Arizona Cardinals vs Indianapolis Colts – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
I’m enjoying every week that Andrew Luck is unavailable & Scott Tolzien makes the start. The Colts have had back-to-back franchise QBs fall into their laps. Ruining the second one is exactly what they deserve.
Cardinals 24 – Colts 0
New England Patriots vs New Orleans Saints – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
Did Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports jinx the Pats with his Roger Gooddell clown towels? Did he then go on to jinx Ohio State on Saturday? No. Probably not. I think Brady might be starting his decline, and the Buckeyes are just a garbage football team.
Patriots 27 – Saints 24
Cleveland Browns vs Baltimore Ravens – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
The Browns were actually worth watching last weekend. They ended up losing of course, and Deshone Kizer took something like 25 sacks, but this was the first time I’ve actually enjoyed watching Cleveland football in at least two years. It’s probably been longer than that, but I’d rather not delve too deeply into that pit of misery.
Ravens 21 – Browns 10
Philadelphia Eagles vs Kansas City Chiefs – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
Remember that time that the Eagles got rid of Andy Reid, hired Chip Kelly, fired Chip Kelly, & then hired Andy Reid again? It’s funny how a franchise that has never won a Super Bowl decided to place the blame on the coach and QB (McNabb) that led them to relevance & a rare Super Bowl appearance in the mid-2000s.
Chiefs 27 – Eagles 17
Tennessee Titans vs Jacksonville Jaguars – 9/17/17 1:00PM EDT
The Titans & the Jags both surprised me last week. I made the mistake of picking Tennessee over Oakland, and I had no idea that the Jags would tear Houston up like that. I think Mariota makes it up to me this week, though.
Titans 31 – Jags 21
NY Jets vs Oakland Raiders – 9/17/17 4:05PM EDT
The Jets suck.
Raiders 38 – Jets 9
Miami Dolphins vs Los Angeles (LOL) Chargers – 9/17/17 4:05PM EDT
If the Chargers play a game in Carson, but no one is there to see it….
Chargers 24 – Dolphins 14
Dallas Cowboys vs Denver Broncos – 9/17/17 4:25PM EDT
I’m sure that this will be the 4:00PM game in my market. Why would anyone buy Sunday Ticket when you are guaranteed Joe Buck/Troy Aikman & America’s favorite team every Sunday afternoon? This one is actually probably on CBS, but I’ll still imagine its being called by Fox’s cutest couple.
Broncos 21 – Cowboys 16
San Francisco 49ers vs Seattle Seahawks – 9/17/17 4:25PM EDT
Remember when this used to be a good game?
Seahawks 31 – 49ers 20
Washington Redskins vs Los Angeles Rams – 9/17/17 4:25PM EDT
Why do the Rams get to play at home twice to open the season? West coast bias.
Rams 24 – Redskins 14
Green Bay Packers vs Atlanta Falcons – 9/17/17 8:30PM EDT
I’ve started hating A-aron Rodgers lately. He just comes off as a condescending prick. I don’t have any actual analysis for this one. The Falcons will be opening up the Sphincter Dome, and the Chickfila restaurant in the facility will be closed. It’s actually a clever marketing strategy on Chickfila’s part. Every Falcons home game people are going to be tweeting pictures of a closed Chickfila. Free advertising.
Falcons 31 – Packers 28
Detroit Lions vs NY Giants – 9/18/17 8:30PM EDT
Man, what the hell New York? I expected Dallas to win deep down, but that was a travesty. Detroit looked fantastic against Arizona, and I expect they’ll hang forty Monday night.
Lions 38 – Giants 20