American football

NFL Week 3 Picks


NFL Week 3 Picks

How did we do last week? Week 2 picks.

Won 14

Texans – Bengals, Bills – Panthers, Bears – Buccaneers, Vikings – Steelers, Cardinals – Colts, Patriots – Saints, Browns – Ravens, Eagles – Chiefs, Titans – Jags, Jets – Raiders, Broncos – Cowboys, 49ers – Seahawks, Falcons – Packers, Lions – Giants

Lost 2

Dolphins – Chargers, Redskins – Rams

On the year: 

24 wins – 6 losses

Los Angeles Rams vs San Francisco 49ers – 9/21/17 8:25PM EDT

I won’t lie, I completely missed this game this week.  My PlayStation Vue account has been operating on a credit card that I forgot I owned (e-mail me for financial services, I’m gr8), and the piper came to collect this evening.  So I have no television, & I wasn’t able to watch the first Thursday Night Football game that was worth a shit.  Rams won 41-39.  I can’t tell you who I would have picked because I put 0 thought into this game even before I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch it.  We will be back on Vue for next week.  Seriously, though, this is the first Thursday night game that I can remember happening with a crazy score.  God hates me.

Rams 41 – 49ers 39

Baltimore Ravens vs Jacksonville Jaguars – 9/24/17 9:30AM EDT

The first of this years London games.  According to ESPN & the NFL Network, the Jag-yoo-ars are basically the London team by the point.  I find that hard to believe, because the closest I’ve ever found them to being worth watching was the brief David Garrard – Maurice Jones-Drew era.

Ravens 27 – Jags 13

Denver Broncos vs Buffalo Bills – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

While I do believe that John Elway is unwilling to sign a quarterback that will challenge his position as the GOAT Bronco, Trevor Simian is kicking ass.  He’s got 6 TDs & 2 INTs thru two games, and he’s an actual threat to run the football at times.  Simian is a monster, & I think he’s locked down the starting job at Denver.  Sorry, Paxton.

Broncos 27 – Bills 10 

Pittsburgh Steelers vs Chicago Bears – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

Alright, I give up.  The Bears will let Trubisky sit on the sideline all year.  Good thing Jay Cutler is retired & not making them look like an ass.

 Jay Cutler – Miami Dolphins


Steelers 27 – Bears 14

New Orleans Saints vs Carolina Panthers – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

Two weeks ago, I was all-in on both of these teams not being garbage.  The Saints are 0-2 & the Panthers beat the Bills 9-3.  Drew Brees is apparently past the expiration date.

Panthers 17 – Saints 6

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs Minnesota Vikings – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

This is probably the most difficult pick of the week, but without Sam Bradford the Vikes are dunfur.

Bucs 20 – Vikings 10

Cleveland Browns vs Indianapolis Colts – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Cleveland Browns are favored on the road for the first time since 2007.  Yes, 2007.  Yes, 2007 was ten years ago.  I’m as disgusted as you are (about how long ago 2007 was).

Browns 21 – Colts 0

Miami Dolphins vs NY Jets – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

Dolphins will make it 2-0 this week.  It sucks that the hurricane messed up their first week, because I would love to talk about how the 2-0 Dolphins are heading to the playoffs.  There is only one quarterback that has ever beaten Tom Brady & the Patriots for an AFC east title since 2000: Chad Pennington.  Jay Cutler is the anti-Chad Pennington (loves throwing interceptions, hates being a role-model), but I think he has what it takes to follow that legacy.  Also, the Goddamn Jets are GARBAGE. I don’t need a new adjective for the Jets.

Dolphins 24 – Jets 3

Houston Texans vs New England Patriots – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

It was really cool when I got to talk shit to my dad about the Pats having the worst record in the NFL two weeks ago.  Brady’s stats last week:

 Tom Brady – New England Patriots

Patriots 34 – Texans 13 

Atlanta Falcons vs Detroit Lions – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

I don’t think the Lions are actually good.  The Giants & the Cardinals kinda suck this year.

Falcons – Lions 31 -20

NY Giants vs Philadelphia Eagles – 9/24/17 1:00PM EDT

So if you’re from one of the two divisions that the NFL loves (NFC East or AFC North), you have to play your entire division before week four.  Sure, the Colts are doing a tour of bullshit teams, but the Giants & the Browns can expect a grinder.

Eagles 24 – Giants 10

Seattle Seahawks vs Tennessee Titans – 9/24/17 4:05PM EDT

Richard Sherman made a comment about how the Seahawks defense is carrying the offense.  No shit, jackass.  The entire NFL outside of Kansas City, Oakland, & New England is being covered by its defense right now.  How about you shut your mouth & be a team player for once in your goddamn career?  JK, Kaepernick should replace Wilson, right Dick?

Titans 31 – Seahawks 23

Kansas City Chiefs – Los Angeles (LOL) Chargers – 9/24/17 4:25PM EDT

I don’t want to get specific with the Chargers attendance.  Roughly 25,000 people watched them lose to the Dolphins last week.  My alma mater had that for their matchup with Kent State this weekend.

Chiefs 38 – Chargers 14

Cincinnati Bengals vs Green Bay Packers – 9/24/17 4:25PM EDT

Marvin Lewis will be the Cincinnati Bengals headcoach in 2019.  I regret wasting this comment so early in the season.

Packers 38 – Bengals 10

Oakland Raiders vs Washington Redskins – 9/24/17 8:30PM EDT

I’m about to declare the Oakland Raiders my AFC Super Bowl candidates.  That’s right.  The Pats can’t compete with Derek Carr and the Black Hole.

Raiders 41 – Redskins 28 

Dallas Cowboys vs Arizona Cardinals – 9/25/17 8:30PM EDT

It was beautiful watching the Broncos pick the Cowgirls apart, but they are still a good football team.  Zeke Elliot whined around like a bitch, and made it infinitely easier for the Cowboys to cut ties.  Dak Prescott is overrated, FYI.

Cowboys 27 – Cardinals 14


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